"If you resist, we'll beat you so badly you'll use your own face as a flotation advice," a smiling flight attendant says in the fake ad.
Overnight, Twitter picked up the ball and ran with it, with #NewUnitedAirlinesMottos spawning hundreds of satirical slogans.
WATCH | Here's the original Jimmy Kimmel skit.
And then Twitter got off to the races.
This is actually United's slogan, minus the terrifying background photo.